What stops you from getting what you want?

You can say all day long that you want a specific thing but in reality, if it isn’t showing up for you, there is a deeper belief that what you already have is what you want or deserve.

There is a block in your system that is keeping you tucked away, safe and sound in the dreams of familiarity.

This dynamic is a trusted friend, a confidant, a steady guide in this experience we call life.

I tend to have two different personalities that I identify with the most. One is called Victim and the other is Hero.

When life is hard and happening TO me, I put on my victim hat.

I stop being productive, I get sick or tired; even cultivate physical pain, illness, and dis-ease. Just this past week I did absolutely nothing to create lower back pain, and voila, instant manifestation.

Knowing what I know about energy and emotions and how they can settle in the physical form, I looked up what this pain was trying to tell me.

I knew I was at another crossroads in my life and had been avoiding the call to step forward.

Staying helpless and powerless and in the mindset that life is happening “to me” is often the easier path than taking accountability.

For me, the hardest pill to swallow is being completely responsible for everything happening in my life.

On the flipside, knowing that I am 100% responsible for my life and everything happening in it, means I can do something about it!! This equals empowerment!

The other role that I have assumed mastery of, is that of the Hero! When I get to fly in and save the day for someone, pick up the messy pieces left in the wake of another’s destruction, I gain some sort of value for my life. Although this value can often be fleeting, it has served me in such a way that I continued going back for more.

I have had many relationships that have given me the beautiful opportunity to practice the role of the enabling co-dependant.

This role is interesting because inevitably, resentment starts to creep in after “saving” them from their own consequences, when they don’t appreciate all that I have done!

And again the Victim shows up like clockwork, ready to assume the new position of “poor me”.

Either way I have ultimately lost, even if it feels in the moment that I am powerless over my circumstances, or powerful because I saved the day.

The fact remains that any and all roles we play in the drama triangle, the other one being the Villian (not one I personally tend to entertain), keeps us stuck in a pattern that takes us NOWHERE! Stuck in a cycle, bouncing around from role to role, trapped by our own doing!

The key to getting unstuck is to first, be aware that it is happening. For me I began to understand this when I was about 30 years old. Married, 3 kids, depressed, anxious and sick more often than not. I was in therapy, on medication and had one hell of a short fuse. My family was the target for my outbursts and I knew that life was not working for me.

The moment I realized that my thoughts were the biggest part of the problem, and that I had the ability to change them, and that changing them could actually start to facilitate a new reality? Bam! Awareness!

Awareness that I was in charge and I could choose to do things differently. I could actually set myself on a path that that would start my journey to wellness on every level!

15 years later and I still understand the importance of the principle of thought. I have a daily practice with shifting and changing the thoughts in my head to be congruent with what I am creating and the goals I continue to set for myself.

This is not to say I am perfect at it and that don’t have days when I get caught up in old cyclic patterns. I do! BUT I don’t hang out there very long…anymore.

I recognize the old beliefs, negative mantras about myself and others, and as soon as I realize that I am following them around, I stop, pause, and breathe.

This resets me on a new pathway. I even talk to myself and say, “Kim, this is not true. You know better, so shift it”.

I then interrupt the habitual thinking with a new phrase to support me in a new positive flow of what I actually KNOW is truth and repeat it as many times as necessary.

Some days I find myself doing this multiple times throughout the day, and that is ok.

The process is literally helping me shed old pathways in the brain and creating new ones.

(It’s called pruning for those of you that require the science behind my woowoo!) 🙂

Like a muscle, it has to be worked over and over with consistancy.

You will not see the change right away, but over time, you will!

One day, after weeks or months of repetitive movement, you’ll look in the mirror and see your efforts are paying off.

Same principle applies with thoughts and even behaviors.

It is all a matter of consistently thinking new thoughts and doing new behaviors that instills change!

So the question remains…Do you have what you want? Do you know what roles you participate in that are not serving you to get you what you want? Do you believe you can change? Or better yet, do you want to change?

If you do truly want to change are you willing to do whatever it takes? If the answer is yes, I would love to coach you to fulfilling this endeavour!

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